Tbh my opinion about Angel's motivation for breaking up with Buffy and leaving Sunnydale are very different, but that could be a topic for another thread

I'd like to focus on Joyce now because there are conflicting opinions about Joyce as a mother, some think she was a good mother, supporting, caring and so on, others describe her as the worst mother ever. I'm more inclined to the former but I can't deny that there are some instances in the first 3 seasons where she really misbehaves toward Buffy.

In this specific case I believe that she had good reasons but at the same time she acted wrong, going behind Buffy's back and intruding in her love life. I agree with you that the interaction was realistic and that she comes out as a mother who truly loves her daughter and is (rightly) worried for her, that's why as a viewer I can't really fault her, but because I don't believe she is a bad person I feel that even with all the good reasons she had, she ought to feel at least a little guilty, believing that her daughter was suffering because of her (she didn't know about the Major's speech so it's logical that she assumed Angel had left because of what she had told him).

And I think that from Buffy's pov, her mother's action could be percieved as a betrayal, possibly the worst of all. Yes, I agree that eventually she would have forgiven her but how long would it take for their relationship to go back to normal? In S7 Buffy accuses Willow and Xander of having cheered her to kill Angel (in S2) and this makes me think that in spite of her extraordinary ability to forgive everything and everyone, she is still human and doesn't forget.

As a viewer and a mother I don't either... but as a daughter I would definitely see her action as such. Which doesn't mean she was wrong, mind me, in her shoes I would have done exactly the same thing. Still, I doubt that Buffy would understand her reasons. One thing that makes me think that she wouldn't forgive her mother (at least not so easily and quickly) is that while she has forgiven everyone and everything, she has had huge issues in forgiving Faith and I believe that it's because of Angel. But I may be biased in this because I think that Angel is Buffy's biggest flaw and when it comes to him, she can be pretty dumb and unreasonable.



But she was addressing Willow as well and it surprised me to discover that Buffy had been nurturing a grudge (sort of) toward both of them and been able to keep it to herself for so long. This is an interesting trait of her personality imo



I couldn't agree more with you! I'm a single parent too and I know very well how hard it is. i don't understand why some fans could be so unforgiving toward Joyce. Yes, she made mistakes but surely not more than other more loved characters.

I don't know how much of that is true. I mean it obviously is from Buffy's pov but Buffy has a martyr complex imo, she just likes to blame helself for everything that goes wrong, so I wouldn't hold her opinion as the truth. But even if it is, it would just mean that Joyce and Hank were in disagreement over Buffy's situation and how to handle it (and maybe the internment issue we are discussing in the other thread could just as well be one of those disagreement), so given that Hank is the one to leave his daughter it's easy to assume that Joyce was the supportive parent.